I find books to read at my local dollar store to build my personal library. I found Jonathan Kozal’s book, “The Theft of Memory”. I have been wanting to learn what to expect in the future. My own father passed several years ago and I lived in another state so my mother and brother had to deal with the situation. My father had to spend his time in a nursing home from the time of his stroke until his death.
I want to learn how to plan when it comes time to care for my mother or one day if my husband needs it before I do.
Jonathan’s parents lived until the age of 102 and he was 72 years old. His mother was able to live in an apartment and ultimately, he brought his father back home to her because he felt so bad whenever his father would say, “Can we go home now”? He enlisted the caregivers he observed that truly cared. They were able to share observations they had seen behind the scenes in their previous jobs and provide the care he deserved.
I can attest to this personally. I worked for a year at a direct care company as a supervisor and struggled to find competent employees. I would recommend to anyone financially able to hire a private care giver you can trust in the home rather than a facility.
The biggest difference in Jonathan’s case is that his parents had the money saved to last until their deaths. His attorney did say they only had three years of finances left so the timing worked out. For poor elderly folks, they are at the mercy of public assistance. It is essential to have family members nearby to check on them regularly.
Jonathan’s story was fascinating because his father was a doctor who had been a medical expert in two high-profile criminal cases and had one celebrity patient who moved across the street from his father’s office so he could have a lifetime of care. The doctor had traveled world-wide for research and written many opinions.
Jonathan and his parents loved each other dearly so he was able to handle his father’s decline because he remembered the man he once was. He gave very good examples of what to expect and plan for.
I want to treat my adult children well so they will be kind to me in my golden years.